I just saw the creepiest ad on MTV for Clearasil. Here’s the YouTube link.

Is this girl 37 years old?!? I would bet over $1,000 that her sultry voice is a voiceover, by the way.

Since the tagline is “Clearasil. May cause confidence,” I guess the suggestion is that only confident people make sexual passes at men sitting next to their mothers? When did I turn into an old prude? I find this highly inappropriate.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-W_jQGSk7o]

This show just keeps getting better and better. I used to think it was boring, now I get a tumbling sense of glee when it happens to be on TV (which is all the time, thanks to MTV’s generous re-play scheduling)…

1. SPENCER PRATT. He has got to be the best reality TV villain of all time. You can watch the little gears turning in his head as he tries to say whatever he thinks people out there want him to say. The episode where Heidi painted over the heinous “Hollywood” tag he’d had painted on their LIVING ROOM WALL was amazing. It was like watching a psychopath unravel.

2. The “jobs” these people hold are given the perfect amount of airtime - only roughly 10% of their lives seem to be spent in any sort of office/Teen Vogue accessory closet/nightclub bouncer station.

3. The fashion is fun! For someone who doesn’t have the luxury of living in Southern California, it’s great to see what the kiddies were wearing 6 months ago…

4. LC/Lauren Conrad. She stole our hearts as a teen in the first season of “Laguna Beach,” and we all can just take a moment of silence and admit there would be no “Hills” without LC. I still love LC for wearing black nail polish, even though that trend jumped the shark about a year ago.

5. The show gets to use MTV music, which means it has an awesome bubble gum pop soundtrack. Nothing like hearing some Avril when Audrina gets dumped, or some Gwen Stefani when Heidi and Spencer go out dancing.

6. The characters actually confront each other in horribly awkward and never-resolved verbal spats (usually inebriated at Les Deux, which appears to be a bordello/nightclub). This kind of thing happens once in a normal person’s lifetime, but somehow the stars of “The Hills” manage to give us several big fights per season.

7. The occasional appearance of parents. When LC visits Laguna Beach or Heidi and Spencer visit Crested Butte, you remember that these kids are still really young and have somewhat/very successful parents who seem relatively normal. And it freaks you out, because the parents seem completely ill-equipped to deal with the bizzaro-fame that their offspring have somehow achieved. Poor Heidi’s mom really seems utterly perplexed. We should take this as a lesson and keep our own children as far from Bunim-Murray Productions as possible.

8. The reappearance of Lo. Dear Lord, did this make me happy! Lo was a cornerstone of the plotline of the original “Laguna Beach” series, and she’s already adding her sparkle to “The Hills.” She’s just so happy and… pint-sized! Doesn’t hurt that she actually attended college, unlike all the others!

9. Whitney from Teen Vogue. The only person on the show who actually seems to have a job and do it pretty well. She’s somehow managed to come through several seasons of “The Hills” completely error-free. She’s fun to watch and LC seems to truly like her. Whenever Whitney’s around, we get a glimpse into the world of high (albeit teen) fashion, which is extra fun.

10. JASON’S COMING BACK! I saw it in the preview, and I’m just waiting with bated breath.

First of all, go see this movie! The third installment of the “Bourne” series is just as satisfying, exciting and attention-grabbing as the first two. This is definitely our generation’s substitute for James Bond.

On a related note, I must draw attention to the amazingly talented wardrobe and makeup people who managed to make Julia Stiles look the best in this film that she has ever looked on screen. Her hair is awesome - Like Audrey Tatou in “Amelie,” Stiles has an effortlessly cute cut that I wanted to rush out of the theater, do not pass Go, and immediately get on myself. Oh, and the color is great on her!

I’ve never been a big JStiles person, myself, but she looked lovely in this movie! I credit it to the lovely shade of dark lipstick they put on her, in addition to her low-key cute clothes. In one of the final frames of the movie, she looks absolutely lovely in a new hair shade and fantastic necklace.

It’s a small part of the larger awesomeness that is “The Bourne Ultimatum,” but I noticed it! Way to go Hollywood - Not since Cameron Diaz in “The Holiday,” have I been so impressed…

I don’t know who else has seen the TV commercial for Sarah Jessica Parker ’s new fragrance, “Covet,” but it has got to be either the worst or best TV ad I’ve seen in a long time.

It shows SJP in true Carrie style on the streets of Paris, kicking in a shop window to ostensibly steal a bottle of her new fragrance. She kicks in the window (with her red-soled Louboutins) and then gets cuffed and led away by French policemen. Once inside the police vehicle she asks IN FRENCH for “just a spritz” from the policeman who is holding the giant bottle of perfume next to her (we know this from the subtitles rolling at the bottom of the screen).

So many things are weird about this ad:

1. SJP has a completely maniacal look on her face from start to finish sending the oh-so-tantalizing message, “Only crazy women like this perfume.”

2. All the voice-overs are SJP or some French dude whispering. Why are they whispering? We don’t know.

3. Why are we in Paris??? I just don’t make the connection here. It is truly despicable at the end when the French dude pronounces “Sarah Jessica Parker” in his French way. Has there ever been anyone less French than SJP?

4. The part at the end inside the police car is truly weird. I’ll aim to get a video link of is pronto. There are SUBTITLES in this ad, for crying out loud! I don’t know about you, but having to read subtitles when SJP is speaking French really annoys me. We all know she speaks English! And we also know that the ad geniuses behind this campaign don’t have a problem with the French accented guy in the voice-over - why didn’t they hire an English speaking actor for the policeman too?

5. I’m highly suspicious that this ad was even filmed in Paris.

So why might this actually be a great ad? Just look at how much I have considered it.

Here’s a link:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSoOEVi2Prg&mode=related&search=]