Just watched the pilot episode of “Gossip Girl” on CW. It was…okay.

First, the pros:

1. Location, Location, Location. Like “Sex and the City,” the producers of GG went entirely legit on all the location sites. These girls were really inside the Palace Hotel, Bendel’s, on the steps of the Met, in Grand Central, HAVING SEX ON THE BAR OF THE CAMPBELL APARTMENT, and so on… It was definitely fun to relive all my high school haunts (OK, maybe not the Campbell Apartment part) watching this.

2. They didn’t shy away from the shocking stuff: drinking, pot, sex, etc… A whole lot of family values coalitions must be writing angry letters right now, because there is no way I would want my 11 year-old watching this (Incidentally, the producers say it’s a show aimed at 18 - 35 year-olds, but I somehow suspect that a lot of 7th graders were tuning in last night.).

3. The narrative voiceover by Kristen Bell - Yay Bell! We love her, and I dig the Gossip Girl gossip blog that ties the whole show together.

4. Best and most interesting actor is definitely Penn Badgley (see below - you may recognize him from the short-lived WB series “The Mountain” and “John Tucker Must Die”) playing the kid from a less-ritzy, downtown home who has a crush on our lead rich girl. He’s got charisma, and is cute enough for it to seem possible that the most popular girl in school would go on a date with him.

And now the cons:

The show is kind of wooden. The actors aren’t riveting and (worse) they aren’t as good looking as you’d hope. The girl who plays Blair Waldorf (resident Amanda Woodward/evil bitch) is literally a poor man’s Lila Gerrity (See “Friday Night Lights.” Literally, SEE FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS!).

The sleazy “Chuck” who tries to seduce unsuspecting freshmen is a replay of Oliver from O.C. minus the awesome ludicrous insanity side.

The one truly gorgeous person they’ve picked is flat, flat, flat onscreen: The guy who plays “Nate,” poor little rich kid who likes one girl but is being forced to sleep with his hot girlfriend instead, and has to go to Dartmouth Because His Old Man Says So. This guy has all the charisma of a lobster pot, so let’s just hope he keeps his mouth shut and just stares longingly at our protagonist, Serena.

Ah, Serena Van Der Woodsen (These names are so ridiculous, BTW. I can just see the writers sitting around a table being like, “Just throw a ‘Van Der’ in there - That equals class!”). She’s played by that blonde, sporty girl from “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.” She’s likeable, I guess. I don’t think we have another Mischa Barton on our hands, though. Ah, Mischa. You couldn’t act, but we were nevertheless mesmerized…

The show’s parents are HORRIBLE. The Park Ave moms are just caricatures with no personality. I get the sense they all used to be hand models and somehow landed speaking roles on a new teen drama. The grungy hipster dad of the less rich kids is actually named “Rufus.” Where’s a Julie Cooper when you need one???

The moral of the story: I will watch Episode #2, but it had better pick up fast or else I’m checking out soon.

Oh, and p.s.

The girl who plays hot freshman sister of our male protagonist is played by noneother than Taylor Momsen, aka “Cindy Lou Hoo” from Jim Carrey’s “The Grinch.”

Yes, you are that old. The children have grown up before our very eyes.