My friend Michael came up with this subject heading. SO TRUE. This trailer gives us next to nothing, but I’m still so excited!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgDQJWFYX88]

My friends and I just spent an afternoon at our local mall, so I did a “smell test” of sorts with all the new celebrity perfumes on display. Here’s what I came away with (rated on a scale of 1 - 10):

L by L.A.M.B. Gwen Stefani

Bottle: 1 - The bottle without the lid looks perfectly nondescript, except for the big script “L” on one side. The trademark L.A.M.B. Rastafarian colored glass bottle is much less colorful than it looks in this photo. Then you put the lid on, and suddenly it looks like that poor robot in Star Wars on the Jawa desert ship that gets dipped into a bucket of acid.

Scent: 8 - It’s a nice combo of sweet and musky. Definitely an interesting fragrance. Smells like something a cool tomboy would wear on prom night.

COVET by Sarah Jessica Parker

Bottle: 10 - It’s classy and has a pretty gold and green label. The coolest part is the lid, which looks like big gems.

Scent: 5 - Nothing offensive, but nothing particularly special either. This perfume smells like a nondescript sorority sister.

MARIAH CAREY EAU DE PARFUM

Bottle: 2 - Are you kidding me? There’s a butterfly on the top of it! This is the way I thought perfume bottles should look when I was a six year-old. You gotta give Mariah a point higher than Gwen Stefani, though… 7 out of 10 six year-olds say the bottle is pretty.

Scent: 2 - To quote my friend, “Gross! It smells like Sweet Tarts!”

HEIRESS by Paris Hilton

Bottle: 4 - looks a little cheap, but nothing too objectionable. A glittery backing on a clear glass column.

Scent: 1 - The worst one we tested, it smells incredibly sweet. Basically like some artificial flavor of apple or melon bubble gum.

USHER by Usher

Bottle: 8 - The bottle is a pretty peach frosted glass, with a cool silver horseshoe design. It’s nothing ridiculously creative, but looks kind of Versace/cool.

Scent: 9 - By far the best one we tested. This has a mysterious combination of scents that are hard to pin down, but really pleasing to the nose. It smells more mature than a lot of the other ones, and definitely would be fun to wear. Usher wins!

I don’t know who else has seen the TV commercial for Sarah Jessica Parker ’s new fragrance, “Covet,” but it has got to be either the worst or best TV ad I’ve seen in a long time.

It shows SJP in true Carrie style on the streets of Paris, kicking in a shop window to ostensibly steal a bottle of her new fragrance. She kicks in the window (with her red-soled Louboutins) and then gets cuffed and led away by French policemen. Once inside the police vehicle she asks IN FRENCH for “just a spritz” from the policeman who is holding the giant bottle of perfume next to her (we know this from the subtitles rolling at the bottom of the screen).

So many things are weird about this ad:

1. SJP has a completely maniacal look on her face from start to finish sending the oh-so-tantalizing message, “Only crazy women like this perfume.”

2. All the voice-overs are SJP or some French dude whispering. Why are they whispering? We don’t know.

3. Why are we in Paris??? I just don’t make the connection here. It is truly despicable at the end when the French dude pronounces “Sarah Jessica Parker” in his French way. Has there ever been anyone less French than SJP?

4. The part at the end inside the police car is truly weird. I’ll aim to get a video link of is pronto. There are SUBTITLES in this ad, for crying out loud! I don’t know about you, but having to read subtitles when SJP is speaking French really annoys me. We all know she speaks English! And we also know that the ad geniuses behind this campaign don’t have a problem with the French accented guy in the voice-over - why didn’t they hire an English speaking actor for the policeman too?

5. I’m highly suspicious that this ad was even filmed in Paris.

So why might this actually be a great ad? Just look at how much I have considered it.

Here’s a link:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSoOEVi2Prg&mode=related&search=]